Always a Fighter, Never a VictimMar 30, 2023
Life's challenges are no respecter of persons. They happen to people irrespective of their socioeconomic status in life. During difficult situations, a person's insecurities and resilience get uncovered. Difficult times usually introduce a person to themself. In other words, difficulties test our patience, emotional stability, and ability to give up or stay resolute. During these difficult moments, we can differentiate a victim from a fighter. So how does an individual develop the mindset that gets them to embrace the idea - always a fighter, never a victim? Let's find out!
The victim mentality
Unlike fighters, victims do not take responsibility for what happens to them. Hence they divest themselves of the power to change their lives. Here are three things about victims that you need to know
1. Victims are preoccupied with the past
One of the signs that you are in victim mode is that you keep going back into the past, thinking and talking about what happened to you. A person with a victim mentality sees themselves as stuck in the past and feels incapacitated and unable to escape their situation. Learned helplessness has become their experience as they now take the position that they cannot control or change their situation. They know they are hurting but feel powerless in getting past their past.
2. Victims avoid asking for help
Asking for help requires vulnerability, but victims are not usually willing to be vulnerable to others. Hence people with a victim mentality find it challenging to ask for help because they believe it will make them appear weak. Also, they think by asking others for help, they are burdening them with their problems. So they give people the impression that they are doing well when in reality, they are struggling and could benefit from the support of others rather than remaining in the state of being victims.
3. Victims blame other people for their situation
In the victim's mentality, people blame others for their situation. Though it may be true that others are responsible for the suffering or difficulties you have experienced in the past, it is your responsibility to change your current status. Hence, blaming your boss, your spouse, your parents, the government, the economy, or whatever you blame for your situation won't get you out of the rut you are now in. The only way out is to take responsibility for your struggle and change it because you have the power to make that change.
The fighter mentality
In contrast, to victims, fighters do not see their failures as a deterrent. Instead, they see difficulties as challenges to overcome and accept the responsibility to take action required to change their situation. Here are three things that differentiate a victim from a fighter.
1. A fighter accepts their situation and their failures
Fighters have a grasp of what has led them to this point in their lives, and they take ownership of the situation. Also, they choose to learn from their challenging experience and use it as stepping stones to move forward. They reframe their circumstances with the attitude that what's happening in their lives is not happening to them but instead is happening for them. Hence, to shift from a victim mentality to a fighter mentality, you must see your mistakes and failures as a part of the journey toward success.
2. A fighter says, "If it's going to be, it's up to me"
A fighter recognizes that though many things are not under their control, there are some things they can control. Hence they are willing to change what they can, and when a fighter cannot alter external situations, they change themselves internally. In other words, they choose to improve themselves and how they respond to the things happening in their lives, whether personal or professional.
3. A fighter has a winning attitude
Fighters are relentless in the pursuit of their goals. They don't hope to win or wonder if they can win. Instead, they are determined to win and have an "I will" attitude. Consequently, a fighter has set goals, is consistent in their effort, practice positive self-talk to control their thoughts, and seeks the necessary support to achieve their desired results. Also, a fighter acknowledges that even though they have skills and talent, maintaining a winning attitude is critical to overcoming their challenges because it's not your aptitude that determines your altitude but your attitude.