5 Glaring Signs Your Marriage Won't LastMar 17, 2021
There are many causes for marital breakups. In my professional life, I have seen the distress many couples and individuals go through as they either grapple with their marital problems or rebuild their lives after a divorce. Every day we find out about the demise of another relationship in our family, Hollywood, and our community. However, most marriages that ended in divorce could have been prevented if the spouses had seen the red flags and had been proactive in addressing these issues before the relationship's ultimate demise. Though each marriage relationship is unique, the following are five glaring signs your marriage won't last or an indicator of trouble in the relationship.
1. Lack of Communication
Is your partner no longer sharing information with you about his/her career, personal problems, or personal achievements? If you are the last to know important information about your spouse, there may be a massive communication breakdown. According to research, communication is the most common problem addressed in couple therapy. Communication is therefore essential to the life of a relationship. Communication is to a relationship what oxygen is to life. Without oxygen, a human being ceases to exist, and without communication, the failure of a relationship is an inevitability. Since effective communication is a central component of marital health, both spouses must keep a constant communication line open to nurture trust and intimacy in the marriage.
2. Frequent Conflicts
Though conflicts are inevitable in every relationship, persistent and frequent fights are indicators of trouble in the marriage. In managing marital conflicts, therefore, couples should avoid criticizing each other (criticism elicits defensiveness), and replace contempt - the most corrosive of emotions to marital health - with fondness and admiration of one's spouse.
3. Not Wanting To Spend Time Together
If you are always too busy or no longer finding enjoyment in spending time with your spouse, your marriage may be in trouble. Since couples who devote time frequently together are generally good friends, couples need to set aside time to be with each other daily to nurture their friendship, which is a critical component in maintaining a satisfying relationship.
4. No Common Interest
Since sharing common interests in a relationship creates a sense of unity with one's spouse, not having common interests within a marriage may indicate that the relationship is in trouble. On the contrary, many spouses who experience a satisfying marriage have found things that they both enjoy doing together, e.g., playing a sport, running, traveling, and reading books together.
5. Decrease In Sexual Passion
One of the significant casualties of many relationships is the absence of sexual intimacy. Making love creates an intense bond between you and your spouse, leaving you with a warm and exhilarating feeling at the end. What separates romantic relationships from platonic relationships is sexual intimacy. Without sexual passion, you are left only with a friendship. Of course, there is a natural diminishing of passion that occurs in every relationship; however, when sex is no longer important in the marriage, it may indicate that the marriage is in trouble. If sex is lacking in your marriage, it is time to prioritize it again since a healthy sex life generally improves the connection and bond between a husband and wife.
If your relationship is experiencing any of these red flags, it may be time for you and your spouse to give your marriage urgent attention, bearing in mind that you can rebuild your marriage even if it has gone through troubled times.