There are many causes for marital breakups. In my line of work I have seen the distress many couples and individuals go through as they grapple with their marital problems, or try to rebuild their lives after a divorce. Every day in the media, in our community, in our family and in our church, we see and hear about the breakups of some of our most admired personalities, as yet another relationship ends in divorce. Every marriage that ends in divorce could have been saved however, if the spouses had seen the red flags and had been proactive in addressing these issues before the ultimate demise of the relationship. Though each marriage relationship is unique, the following are 5 glaring signs your relationship is in trouble.

1. Lack of Communication

Is your partner no longer sharing information with you about his/her career, personal problems or personal achievements? If you are the last to know important information, about your spouse, there maybe a huge breakdown in communication. According to research, communication is the most common problem addressed in couple therapy. This is an indication of how important communication is to the life of a relationship. As a matter of fact, communication is to a relationship what oxygen is to life. Without oxygen, a human being ceases to exist and without communication, a relationship is destined to fail. Since effective communication is a central component to marital health, both spouses must therefore keep a constant line of communication open, so as to nurture trust and intimacy in the marriage.

2. Frequent Conflicts

Though conflicts are inevitable in every relationship, persistent and frequent fights are indicators of trouble in the marriage. In managing marital conflicts therefore, couples should
avoid criticizing each other (criticism elicits defensiveness), and replace contempt – the most corrosive of emotions to marital health – with fondness and admiration of one’s spouse.

3. Not Wanting To Spend Time Together

If you are always too busy or no longer finding enjoyment in spending time with your spouse, your marriage maybe in trouble. Since couples who spend time frequently together are generally good friends, it is important for couples to set aside time to be with each other on a daily basis, so as to nurture their friendship which is a very critical component in maintaining a satisfying relationship.

4. No Common Interest

Since sharing common interests in a relationship creates a sense of unity with one’s spouse, not having common interests within a marriage may be an indicator that the relationship is in trouble. On the contrary, many spouses who experience a satisfying marriage have found things that they both enjoy doing together e.g. playing a sport, running, traveling, and reading books together.

5. Decrease In Sexual Passion

One of the major casualties of many relationships is the absence of sexual intimacy. Making love creates an intense bond between you and your spouse, leaving you with a warm and exhilarating feeling at the end. What separates romantic relationships from platonic relationships is sexual intimacy. Without sexual passion, you are just left with a friendship. Of course, there is a natural diminishing of passion that occurs in every relationship, but when sex is no longer important in the marriage, it may be an indicator that the marriage is in trouble. If sex is therefore lacking in your marriage, it is time to make it a priory again, since a healthy sex life in a marriage generally improves the connection and bond between a husband and wife.

If your relationship is experiencing any of these red flags, it may be time for you and your spouse to give your marriage urgent attention, bearing in mind that many marriages that go through troubled times can be rebuilt.